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Friday, October 8, 2010

Momma said it takes more than blood to be family...

I am writing this because I am feeling very sentimental today. If I didn't know any better, I would think I were pregnant... LOL. (I am not) I am just an emotional basket case lately. Anyway, I just felt like writing about my Stepdaughter, Sierra. I just wanted to express how much I truly adore this child. I remember the first time I ever saw her... she was so tiny and so happy. She was playing outside... running around the pool with this guy... and the way she looked at him... *sigh*. She looked at him as if he was the only person on this entire earth... and he was all hers, her Daddy. I remember telling my Brother that I wish we had a Dad like that. I just sat and watched them play for what felt like a century. I was literally awe struck. I remember exactly what she was wearing... a little pink tank top with a white skirt that had little fruits on it. (very much a "daddy dressed me" outfit.) LOL. Her hair was a mess and her feet were bare. Sierra was very shy and timid... so she didn't speak to me much that day. But boy oh boy her Daddy did! LOL. Well, her Daddy and I decided to hang out. I invited him and Sierra to come to our studio and listen to my Brother and I record some music. So, Marshall, being a musician was ALL OVER IT. Well,he brought Sierra with him and she was so shy and quiet and didn't want to let go of her Daddy. I was actually dog sitting for my friend at the time, he had a baby pug... so I walked up to Sierra and was like, "Hey Sierra, I have a little problem. You see, I have this puppy, but I don't have anyone to play with her... do you think you could do that for me" She shook her head yes... and it was all down hill from there. Sierra was not even 2 when I first met her. Over the years, I have fallen in love with this child. I have raised her as if she were my very own. I have loved her, I have been at my wit's end because of her, I have cried for her, I have hurt for her, I have laughed with her, I have held her while she cried, I have nursed her back to health, I have gone on field trips, I have shared deep conversations, I have screamed, I have been irrational, I have carried her for miles when she didn't want to walk, I have spoiled her then called her spoiled, I have punished her, I have rewarded her, I have been strict, I have been laid back, I have hurt her feelings, I have made her feel like the best kid on earth, I have loved her unconditionally, I have given her reassurance, I have made her feel doubt.... I recognize all of these things, both the good and the bad... all that comes along with being a parent. But the one thing that sticks out the most to me... if there is one thing I have done right or wrong for her... I have been a constant. I have not left her side since the day I walked into her life. Here we are, almost 5 years later. Sierra is now 6 years old. And I look back on all this time... and all the love we have shared... and my heart is bursting with joy... with love for that child. I cannot imagine my life without Sierra. At times I get angry with the circumstances... and at times I am reminded by others that she is NOT my child... but I cannot help but feel the way I feel. I cannot help but let the world know, she IS mine. I may not have loved her first, but I have loved her consistently. Doesn't that count for something? I think it does... I think to Sierra it counts. That is why she calls me Mom. And reminds me all the time, that she is my daughter... and that it doesn't take blood to be family.

Sierra and Myself when she was 2 yrs old :)


  1. You look very different in this pic as compared to your profile picture....lovely daughter though!

  2. Yep! That picture was about 5 years ago,that is why.

  3. "I have spoiled her then called her spoiled"... I know I'm not a parent so what I may have to say might not be valid in the eyes of some, but that is such a good thing to recognize. That means you are able to be stern and not spoil her so that when you see the prima donna coming out you know it isn't coming from your influence. So, you have the right to give her other behavioral options (I guess???)

    Also, that is rude if people tell you that she isn't yours! That would make my blood boil. Sorry, but she is every bit as much yours as she is her real mother's. Especially if you're the primary care giver...