Momma said don't sweat the small stuff...

MELODRAMATIC MOMMA= ME!
And I think it represents most Mom's everywhere.(You can't deny it... we are all emotional basket cases) It is hard not to narrow in on all of the tiny drama's that happen throughout our day. Between the bumped heads and the scraped knees and the total meltdown over the wrong kind of lunch meat, our emotions are running on the brink of total loss of nerve at all times! Some days I get so frustrated at the smallest things. I have to sit down and remind myself, THIS IS NOT WORTH GETTING UPSET OVER! I think as parents we FEEL 10 times more emotional b/c not only do we feel our pains and frustrations, but we also feel our kid's. Can you imagine how much THEY are feeling? Having to share our burdens with us? I often think about the emotional strain we as parents can put on our children without even realizing it. Financial strain, marital strain... LIFE in general. Every ounce of emotion we are feeling, we project onto our children. Has your 5 year old ever raised concerns to you about money? There is probably a reason for it... we tend to say stuff in the heat of the moment that in most instances we never would. We get so upset and frustrated that we have to release these emotions and usually our children are the ones on the receiving end. We are allowing our children to share our worries... worries that should not plague them for many many years.

My Momma used to tell me when I felt like I was going to have a serious case of word vomit... to stick an apple in my mouth. (NO joke) So, let's share an apple with our kids. Let them be kids... don't sweat the small stuff. Don't have a meltdown over the 5th dirty diaper in a row! Don't cry over the spilled milk. It is not worth it. Before we know it, our day is over and the only thing we have accomplished is a whole lot of drama and not one ounce of what we need to get done. :) Life is too short, our children are not going to be this cute and cuddly forever. I don't know about ya'll, but I don't want to wake up 10 years from now wondering where the time has gone. I wan't to know exactly what my time was spent doing... and I do not want it to be worrying and stressing over matters that are out of my hands.

"If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. " ~Don Herold

Momma said don't handicap your children by making their lives easy...

So, I have been thinking about this quote alot lately. As parents, it seems like our number one goal with our children is to make their lives as easy as possible. We hope that they will not encounter the sames pains as we have. We try our best to keep them in a bubble, safe and protected from all the ugly forces in this life. But, I wonder if this is right? I wonder if we are in fact teaching them the lessons they need to be taught in order to make it in this world. Because, the truth is, this life IS hard, this life IS filled with hate and hurt and pain and tears. How are our children supposed to learn how to face these demons head on if they have had absolutely no experience with them before? How are they to stand and fight when all their lives we have been the ones fighting for them?

Maybe the key to parenting is not taking away our children's pain... maybe it is teaching them how to properly embrace each pain and recover from the hurts that we encounter. Teaching our Daughters how to break down in private and never let another see her falter. Teaching our Son's how to stand up and be a man, even when the act does not seem characteristic of  a "man". We don't want to teach our children the cowardice ways of a bail out! We want to teach them to be brave and be strong and to fight for their happiness and peace of mind. We want them to shoot for the stars, chase every dream and BELIEVE in themselves. Us believing in them will only get them so far in this life... we, as parents must give them the tools they need in order to have that same faith in themselves. Throwing them to the wolves, you may say... but when we have equipped them with the armor they need for protection, we will have confidence that they will come out of the situation on top. Stand and conquer will be their battle cry, a pat on the back from us and the feeling of self preservation will be their greatest reward.

"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders."  ~Abigail Van Buren


-AshleyD

Momma said I will hold your hand for a little while, but your heart for forever...

It has been nearly 8 months since my beautiful Mother passed away. I miss her immensely every single day. It is a hard reality to bare, living with the loss of someone so dear. I think the part I struggle with the most is Skyler. My own Grandmother died when I was barely 2 years old, now Skyler's has as well. It is the times that all I want is my Mother's advice, her words comforting me, that are the hardest. I find myself constantly reminiscing on all the things she used to say to me, all the lessons she taught me, all the one's I am still learning. She is what inspired this blog. I wanted to find a way to let her words live on through me. My Mother, Kathryn, was my very best friend, my lifeline. I only hope that I can be the same to Skyler. I hope that my Mother's flame will burn through me and on into Skyler. I will do the best I can to be the best I can. Every single day, just like she did.

RIP Momma, I love you.

AshleyD

Momma said it takes more than blood to be family...

I am writing this because I am feeling very sentimental today. If I didn't know any better, I would think I were pregnant... LOL. (I am not) I am just an emotional basket case lately. Anyway, I just felt like writing about my Stepdaughter, Sierra. I just wanted to express how much I truly adore this child. I remember the first time I ever saw her... she was so tiny and so happy. She was playing outside... running around the pool with this guy... and the way she looked at him... *sigh*. She looked at him as if he was the only person on this entire earth... and he was all hers, her Daddy. I remember telling my Brother that I wish we had a Dad like that. I just sat and watched them play for what felt like a century. I was literally awe struck. I remember exactly what she was wearing... a little pink tank top with a white skirt that had little fruits on it. (very much a "daddy dressed me" outfit.) LOL. Her hair was a mess and her feet were bare. Sierra was very shy and timid... so she didn't speak to me much that day. But boy oh boy her Daddy did! LOL. Well, her Daddy and I decided to hang out. I invited him and Sierra to come to our studio and listen to my Brother and I record some music. So, Marshall, being a musician was ALL OVER IT. Well,he brought Sierra with him and she was so shy and quiet and didn't want to let go of her Daddy. I was actually dog sitting for my friend at the time, he had a baby pug... so I walked up to Sierra and was like, "Hey Sierra, I have a little problem. You see, I have this puppy, but I don't have anyone to play with her... do you think you could do that for me" She shook her head yes... and it was all down hill from there. Sierra was not even 2 when I first met her. Over the years, I have fallen in love with this child. I have raised her as if she were my very own. I have loved her, I have been at my wit's end because of her, I have cried for her, I have hurt for her, I have laughed with her, I have held her while she cried, I have nursed her back to health, I have gone on field trips, I have shared deep conversations, I have screamed, I have been irrational, I have carried her for miles when she didn't want to walk, I have spoiled her then called her spoiled, I have punished her, I have rewarded her, I have been strict, I have been laid back, I have hurt her feelings, I have made her feel like the best kid on earth, I have loved her unconditionally, I have given her reassurance, I have made her feel doubt.... I recognize all of these things, both the good and the bad... all that comes along with being a parent. But the one thing that sticks out the most to me... if there is one thing I have done right or wrong for her... I have been a constant. I have not left her side since the day I walked into her life. Here we are, almost 5 years later. Sierra is now 6 years old. And I look back on all this time... and all the love we have shared... and my heart is bursting with joy... with love for that child. I cannot imagine my life without Sierra. At times I get angry with the circumstances... and at times I am reminded by others that she is NOT my child... but I cannot help but feel the way I feel. I cannot help but let the world know, she IS mine. I may not have loved her first, but I have loved her consistently. Doesn't that count for something? I think it does... I think to Sierra it counts. That is why she calls me Mom. And reminds me all the time, that she is my daughter... and that it doesn't take blood to be family.

Sierra and Myself when she was 2 yrs old :)

Introducing Sierra Paige :)

This is my Step Daughter, Sierra. I have had her since she was about 18 months old. I very much consider her to be my own child. Sierra has brought more love and joy in my life than I could possibly express to you. She is fun and outgoing. She is loving and kind. She is smart as a whip and extremely witty! She is sassy at times and tends to be needy, but she is all girl and all love. She has my heart and she always will <3

AshleyD

Momma said life is too short, have fun while you can...

SO! In light of this statement, I am going to let my girls spend the night in a tent outside in our yard. :) HAHA! I honestly do not think they will last the night. My main concern is them disturbing the neighbors, but in all honesty... it is Friday, they can deal ;) (JK, guys, I love ya'll)

I remember when I was young, my Brother would camp outside all the time. I was the only girl and the youngest in my entire family and was never allowed to participate. I was always SO upset over this discrimination. I think I heard every possible excuse in the book, "You are too young", "You are a girl", "It's too cold",  "Too many boys"... BLAH BLAH BLAH. I used to think that my parents hated me. LOL. Seriously! I was the one who always got jipped out of all the fun stuff! My Brother, Josh, (God bless him) was always going to skating rinks and bowling alleys and I was the one who got to stay at home with my Mom. As a child, I resented this SO MUCH. As an adult, I am so thankful that I had that time with my Mom. She always tried her best to make things fun for me. She would read with me, play barbies with me, we would spend hours cutting up construction paper and making Indian villages! (I loved making the tents). These are the memories I hold onto. These are the things that I remember most. I am so very grateful for every single one of these memories now.

I hope that I am doing what I can to create memories like these with my girls. I hope that a simple night in the yard will live on in their memories forever. I hope that when they smell sugar cookies and pizza, they reminisce of better days. I hope that they put forth the same effort with their children to create such important memories. I hope that they learn home is not just a place, it is indeed where the heart is... and ofcourse, it is where MOM is ;)

I will post pics tomorrow of the girls fun night in the tent! For today, have a good one and I'll see ya'll soon.

AshleyD

Introducing Skyler Rae :)

This is my 2 1/2 year old daughter, Skyler. She is my heaven on earth :) Skyler is a fun, energetic child with a whole lot of bounce in her step. She is sassy and demanding at times, but caring and affectionate at others. She is my whole heart <3

AshleyD